The US State Department's Human Resources Director, Harry Thomas, (who apparently views humans as mere "resources", like barrels of oil) explained to the alarmed crowd that they would be required to work at the unfurnished embassy or get "axed."

Senior diplomat Jack Croddy said "I'm sorry, but basically that's a potential death sentence and you know it."

TALONNEWS was unable to determine if a car bomb with diplomatic license plates can legally park & explode anywhere in the US.

US diplomats are unaware that the mission was accomplished years ago.