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November 18, 2007
WASHINGNOT: The US Supreme Court agreed Tuesday to decide whether the War On
Terror is reason enough for the government to quarter soldiers in
private homes without the owners consent.
"I see the results of
quartering every day," said Dallas Hilton Hotel Manager Chuck "Tex"
Lampley. "The strengthening of the government's quartering laws
leads inevitably to the loss of lucrative federal contracts for the
hospitality industry."
Pat "John" Philbin, in a fake news conference, decried the lawsuit
insisting, "the government does not torture, and the government does
not quarter." The lower court ruled that the War On Terror was not
sufficient grounds for National Guardsmen, returning home after
several extensions to their tour of duty, to "take over" a person's
house to throw a kegger, no matter how much it may have relieved PTSD.
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