"If there's one thing Jesus taught us, it's to hate the Jews," Coulter said. "After all, they're the 'chosen people'" When asked if Jesus was Jewish, Coulter screamed, her head spun around three times while projectile-vomiting pea soup, and she, being no fun, fell over. When her ruby slippers were removed, her legs rolled up. [Editor's note: Yes, this is just a quick rewrite of an earlier Coulter blurb. She really isn't worth the effort.]