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February 5, 2008
AMERICA: Caucuses were abruptly cancelled across the nation
on Tuesday by the office of Homeland Security,
citing the possibility of bomb threats.
"It's not due to bomb threats, but the very real possibility
of bomb threats which is forcing Homeland Security to
cancel Tuesday's great experiment in democracy," said
J. Michael "Mike" McConnell, the director of Homeland Security.
"The threat of bomb threats threatens us all," threatened the
director.
"In case there IS a bomb threat, it's important to know what
to do -- 'duck and cover'" explained McConnell. "Duck into
the nearest men's room stall and cover the top of the foot
of the guy in the adjacent stall with your shoe."
"Soon after that, he's gonna blow!"
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