May 9, 2008
ARIZONA: In a nearly one-year-old forgotten interview with McClatchy Newspapers, John McCain admitted that only two of his three children are baptized.

"We had two of our kids baptized in the Arizona Baptist Church, but our third can just go to hell," said McCain to a startled, largely fictional audience. "I'm not baptized either, so I'll be there. It'll be like being back in Hanoi."

McCain's wife, who remarked how thin McCain's hair and skin had become, was told to go on a trolley hunt, according to Jim Neener, our hard-of-hearing reporter.