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October 7, 2008
CENTERVILLE (A Real Nice Place To Raise Your Kids Up): "We respond to negative
ads more than we vote on the issues, it's time you stop letting us decide
who's going to lead the country," said Everyman spokesman John Q. Public.
"I mean, God. We're pretty dumb. Just
look at us. Our prime ambition is to get on television and tell
people how stupid we are. We think reality tv shows actually
reflect reality, and that 15 second sound-bites actually cover a
complex issue. Hey look, a shiny object! Gotta go."
Joe Sixpack agreed. "I agree. Um, what was the question?"
Soon-to-be hockey mom Bristol Wasilla disagreed. "I disagree. I'm
not lazy, I'm just undecided. Um, what was the question?"
American voters are boycotting themselves over the stupidity issue.
It's estimated that half the voters in the country will be affected
by the self-imposed boycott and not vote. About ten percent of the
voters will forget how stupid they are and vote, but they're not sure
for who just yet and will probably forget by the time they leave the
booth.
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