November 25, 2009
WASHINGTON: Rush Limbaugh, America's #1 Turkey By Weight, lambasted president Obama for pardoning a delicious turkey.

"The Democrats deserve a good dressing-down for releasing food when so many people are starving," ranted Limbaugh, while stuffing his mouth with truffles. "Good gravy! As Chico Escuela would say, 'Tanksgiving cran berry, berry sauce to me!'"

Then former vic-president Dan Quayle came in and sang "You Say Potatoe."

"The cake is a lie!"