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February 27, 2009: Celebration Marred By Plunge Into The Colorado River
February 26, 2009: Congressman Proposes Bill To Stop All Interstate Travel
February 26, 2009: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
February 23, 2009: Swiss Angry At US Prying Into Unnumbered Nazi Bank Accounts
February 23, 2009: Journalist Christopher Hitchens Beaten; Two-Thirds Of Earth's Population Suspected
February 23, 2009: Six Fingered Baby Draws Baseball Scouts
February 22, 2009: Look, I Just Don't Have Time
February 20, 2009: Muslims Riot Over Cartoon In NY Post
February 19, 2009: Focus On The Family Changes Name To Fascists Opposed To Fornicators
February 18, 2009: Snoopy Merchandise Affected By Salmonella Outbreak
February 18, 2009: NY Post: Cartoon Was Not Racist, And We Don't Apologize To Niggers
February 18, 2009: Wyoming Might Be Sold To Halliburton
February 18, 2009: Japanese Man Gets Drunk, World Reacts With Horror
February 15, 2009: Muslim Improves Image Of Islam By Beheading Wife
February 13, 2009: Jason Sees His Shadow, 13 More Weeks Of Bad Luck
February 12, 2009: TALONNEWS Explusive Shocker: Lincoln And Darwin Were The Same Person!
February 12, 2009: Almost No Current TALONNEWS Reporters Are Hookers
February 12, 2009: Nation's Newspapers Looking For Next Shiny Object
February 10, 2009: Kieth Olberman Lies About TALONNEWS
February 10, 2009: Historian: US Civil War Caused By Hair
February 08, 2009: Republicans Plame Obama For Not Stopping Time
February 07, 2009: Justice Ginsburg Sues Pat Robertson Over Cancer
February 05, 2009: Existentialists Added To "Bus Ad War"
February 05, 2009: Cheney Takes New Job As "Harbinger Of Doom"
February 04, 2009: Iceland Hits Bottom, Calls Sponsor
February 02, 2009: TALONNEWS Scooped By Rival Publication
February 01, 2009: Apostrophie's Doomed, Say Grammarian's

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